Why Every Grief Journey is Unique
National Grief Awareness Day is August 30
“There is not a typical response to loss, as there is no typical loss. Our grieving is as individual as our lives.”
– Elizabeth Kübler-Ross
Grief Awareness Day is a reminder that while loss and grief are universal, how we grieve is not. Every person’s experience of loss is shaped by their relationship with the person who died, their culture, their personality, their support system and the circumstances of the loss. That’s why no two grief journeys look alike. The ways grief differs from person to person include:
Emotions
For some people, grief shows up as overwhelming sadness immediately after a loss. Others experience anger, guilt, relief or even numbness. Emotions can come in waves, or they may appear when least expected. Some people cry every day, while others have shared that tears didn’t come until months later, when life felt quieter and lonelier. Another person may not cry at all; your emotional and physical manifestation of grief is unique to you.
Physical Responses
Grief is physical as well as emotional, and it can take a real toll on the body. Fatigue, changes in appetite, headaches and trouble sleeping are all common. Some people cope by staying busy and active, while others feel immobilized.
Timing
The timeline of grief varies widely. For some, grief is most intense immediately after a loss. For others, the deepest feelings arrive later, once the initial shock has worn off. Anniversaries, holidays, and milestones often bring grief back into focus. There is no “normal” timeline for grief and there is no such thing as either “taking too long to get over it” or “moving on too quickly.”
Cultural and Personal Expression
Cultural background and personal style also shape how grief is expressed. Some cultures emphasize public rituals and community mourning, while others encourage privacy and quiet reflection. Even within the same family, people may grieve very differently. One family member may find comfort in telling stories and sharing photos, while another may need solitude and quiet prayer.
Coping Styles
Each person develops their own way of coping. Some find healing in talking openly with others, while others turn to journaling, art, exercise, or routine. And there is professional support available whether you prefer a grief support group with others navigating the same terrain or one-on-one counseling sessions.
Supporting the Full Range of Grief
Because there isn’t a single “normal” way to grieve, support must also be flexible and compassionate:
Avoid assumptions. Don’t expect someone’s grief to look like your own, or like a movie version of mourning.
Offer your presence. Instead of saying “you should be feeling X,” try “I’m here for you, however you’re feeling.”
Recognize the long timeline. Grief doesn’t disappear after the funeral. Checking in weeks, months and even years later matters.
Encourage healthy outlets. Talking with others, joining a grief support group, journaling or creating rituals of remembrance can all be meaningful.
Respect differences. One person might want company and conversation, another might need space and quiet. Both are valid.
At Cascade Health, we understand the many ways grief shows up. Through our grief support services, we provide safe spaces for people to share, learn and find connection on their own terms. We know every grief journey is unique – and that compassion means supporting each person, exactly where they are.
If you or someone you love is grieving, our team can help. Visit us online or call 541-228-3050 to learn more about our support groups and resources.