Q: I tried to meditate several times but I just couldn't do it. I wasn't able to "stop my thoughts." Do you have any suggestions?
A: One of the most common complaints about meditation is just what you are bringing up today: I tried that, but I couldn't do it." So often, this reaction stems from a misunderstanding of what the experience of meditation is supposed to be about and what can be expected from a practice of meditation. Usually, a person feels that they couldn't meditate because somewhere along the way they believed or were wrongly taught that in order to meditate you have to "block out all of your thoughts" or "stop thinking." This couldn't be further from the truth about meditation, and it isn't even possible!
Being, Not Doing
Meditation isn't a practice about "doing" but rather one of "being" with ourselves as we are. The goal in meditation is not to change anything about what is going on inside of our minds or stop our thoughts. Simply, the goal is to help us rest with ourselves as we are. Now, in meditation we often choose something to focus on – such as a word or a sound, or we can focus on the breath. Choosing something to focus on helps the mind to relax, but it does not stop our regular thoughts or keep us from distractions. Distractions will certainly come up during meditation – like thinking about what we have to do later or hearing a dog bark outside. But when we notice that we are distracted, we simply bring ourselves back to focusing on that word or sound or the breath. This process of meditation can help us to find rest and calm in an otherwise busy world.
Many Types of Meditation
There are many types of meditation – sitting meditation, mantra meditation, walking meditation, dance meditation. It is important that you find a style of meditation that is right for you. It is also important that you find a teacher who doesn't believe that there is only one "right" way to meditate, who is experienced with the subject and qualified to teach. Additionally, that teaching should focus on just what we are talking about here – a practice of gently being with ourselves without judging ourselves, NOT a practice of trying to "tune things out."
Two good books for understanding more about the practice of meditation and its many health benefits are:
Benson, Herbert. The Relaxation Response. New York, NY: Avon Books. (This focuses more on the health benefits of meditation.)
Kabat-Zinn, Jon. Wherever You Go There You Are. New York, NY: Hyperion. (This focuses more on the practice of meditation.) |
