Since the era in America when moms stayed at home and dads brought home the paycheck, more women are working more hours outside the home than ever before. Both married and single moms are working more hours. But according to a survey by the AFL-CIO, married moms are more likely to work long hours than are single moms. And as the workload rises, parents feel more rushed and stressed, and less satisfied with life than do their childless counterparts.
It seems that people have gotten the message that children benefit from quality time with their parents. Yet many of today's parents struggle to carve even a few minutes a day out of their hectic lives to spend with their children.
Parents don't regret time spend with their children. In fact, they look forward to that time and describe it as enjoyable. The frustration comes when they must decide which important activities to put on hold. This is especially true for working mothers.
"Today's working women are struggling to balance the demands of work and family in a competitive economy," said Linda Chavez-Thompson, former executive vice president of the AFL-CIO. "The survey shows their priorities have changed in the last few years as they seek solutions to increasing pressures on the job and at home."
Can't Do It All
There's no such thing as a "super parent." Something has to give. Today's mothers and fathers are finding that they have to put aside outside interests, volunteering, housekeeping, personal time, couple time, sometimes even sleeping – choosing instead to put their children first.
How can you keep financially or professionally afloat while spending quality time with your children?
Work Non-Traditional Shifts: Nearly a third of all working moms work weekends, evenings, or nights – times when their spouse or partner can be home with the children. An added benefit is that some careers provide higher pay for working non-traditional shifts.
Pare Down to the Essentials: Decide what's most important for you and your family, and say "No" to everything else. Nutritious meals, regular physical activity, sleep, and time with your spouse and children are necessary for a healthy body, mind, and family.
Remove Distractions: Eliminate things that take away from what you decide is essential. If family time is the goal, say "No" to any unnecessary expenditure that will require you to work longer hours (for example: buying new living room furniture). The same goes for anything that will take time away from your spouse or children (such as serving on a church or community committee). Keep the radio off while you're driving. Instead, talk with your children about whatever's on their mind. Turn the TV off and play a game with your family instead.
Combine Activities: Recruit your children to walk with you around your neighborhood. Talk with your spouse during meal preparation and while cleaning up. Enjoy family conversation around the dinner table.
Simplify Meals: Forget crepes for breakfast. Pull out nutritious granola, top it with blueberries or bananas, and pour on milk (one percent, skim, rice, or soy). Serve fresh fruit or veggies and wholesome whole-grain crackers for lunch. Throw some beans or lentils in a crock-pot before you leave in the morning, and you'll have the main part of your dinner nearly done. Season to taste, then serve over pasta or rice with a salad for a delicious – and easy – evening meal.
Revamp Housekeeping: Some families are able to hire a housekeeper. Most aren't. If you're in the "aren't" category, it's imperative for you to re-evaluate your methods and standards. You can enlist help (children, spouse, helpful relative) or you can minimize your standards. How much clutter and dirt can you put up with? If you don't mind dust, skip dusting. If streaks and smudges don't bother you, forgo mirror and window cleaning. Some people wash bath towels weekly instead of daily. You get the idea.
You can't do it all. You probably can't even do half of what you'd like. But you can eliminate a lot of frustration by deciding what's most important for you and your children and eliminating or postponing the rest. |
