Feeling anxious or irritable? Have you lost interest in activities you used to enjoy? You might not feel comfortable with the thought, but you could be suffering from a serious illness. You might be struggling with depression.
Depression is not "all in your head." It's not something that you can wish away or just snap out of. It's a serious medical condition that affects your body, mood, and lifestyle. It alters your sleep, your appetite, your sex life, your self-concept, and the way you think about things.
An occasional day or two of "feeling blue" doesn't mean you're depressed. But if you have lingering feelings that keep you from enjoying work, family, friends, food, sleep, and activities you once took pleasure in, talk with a qualified health provider. Without treatment, your symptoms can last for weeks, months, or years. Appropriate treatment, however, often involving medication or short-term psychotherapy or both, helps most people who suffer from depression.
Lots of Company
Your feelings are neither unusual nor odd. Each year, depression affects an estimated six million American men. Real men. Tough men. Smart men. Athletes, firefighters, military men, lawyers, businessmen, construction workers, mechanics, salesmen, computer programmers, and students. No matter what you do, how fit you are, how smart you are, or how successful you are, you are not exempt from the possibility of becoming depressed. It can strike anyone regardless of gender, age, ethnic background, or socioeconomic status.
Sound Familiar?
While both women and men can develop the same standard symptoms of depression, they often experience depression differently – and might have different ways of coping with the symptoms. Men are usually more willing to acknowledge their fatigue, irritability, loss of interest in work or hobbies, and sleep disturbances than their feelings of sadness, worthlessness, or guilt.
Have you known a man who is grumpy, irritable, and has no sense of humor? Maybe he drinks too much or abuses drugs. Maybe he verbally abuses his wife and his kids. Maybe he works all the time, or compulsively seeks thrills in high-risk behavior. Or maybe he seems isolated, withdrawn, and no longer interested in the people or activities he used to enjoy. Possibly he blames others for his misplaced keys. Or maybe he's making out-of-the-norm decisions that appear to be based on faulty judgment. Maybe this man is you.
If so, it's important to understand that depression is a real disease. And that it's treatable.
Real Men Ask for Help
"For generations men have been told that they have to act tough," U.S. Surgeon General Richard Carmona said. "Today we're saying to men, it's okay to talk to someone about what you're thinking, or how you're feeling, or if you're hurting. We are attacking the stigma that tough guys can't seek help. They can and they should."
It takes courage to ask for help. When men do seek treatment, the success rate is very high –more than 80 percent.
The first step to getting appropriate treatment for depression is a physical examination by a physician. Some medications as well as some medical conditions (viral infection, thyroid disorder, low testosterone level, and others) can cause the same symptoms as depression. Your physician can rule in or rule out these possibilities through examination, interview, and lab tests.
What Doesn't Work, and What Does
Instead of acknowledging their feelings, asking for help, or seeking appropriate treatment, some men turn to alcohol or drugs when they are depressed, or become frustrated, discouraged, angry, irritable and, sometimes violently abusive. Some men deal with depression by throwing themselves compulsively into their work, attempting to hide their depression from themselves, family, and friends. Other men respond to depression by engaging in reckless behavior, taking risks, and putting themselves in harm's way.
None of those tactics help. In fact, they only worsen the depression.
What helps is talking to someone you trust who has experience in mental health. Talk with your doctor for a referral. Or look in the Yellow Pages under "mental health," "health," "social services," "suicide prevention," "crisis intervention services," "hotlines," "hospitals," or "physicians" for phone numbers and addresses.
Stress, Depression, and Suicide
Sources of informal interventions include family and friends, community services, self-help groups, social support networks, religious and spiritual endeavors, complementary healers, and physical activity.
Although the majority of people with depression do not contemplate suicide, having depression does increase suicide risk compared to those without depression.
If you are thinking about suicide, get help immediately:
- Call your doctor's office.
- Call 911 for emergency services.
- Go to the emergency room of the nearest hospital.
- Ask a family member or friend to take you to the hospital or call your doctor.
- Call 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433), the toll-free, 24-hour hotline of the National Hopeline Network sponsored by the Kristin Brooks Hope Center, to be connected to a trained counselor at a suicide crisis center nearest you.
Help Really Works
Depression can make you feel exhausted, worthless, helpless, and hopeless. You might feel like giving up. But don't! Your negative thoughts and feelings will fade in time. Meanwhile, the National Institute of Mental Health recommends:
- Mild exercise, going to a movie or a ballgame, or participating in religious, social, or other activities.
- Set realistic goals in light of the depression and assume a reasonable amount of responsibility.
- Break large tasks into small ones, set some priorities, and do what you can – as you can.
- Try to be with other people and to confide in someone. It is usually better than being alone and secretive.
- Expect your mood to improve gradually, not immediately. Often during treatment of depression, sleep and appetite will begin to improve before a depressed mood lifts.
- It is highly advisable to postpone important decisions until the depression has lifted. Before deciding to make a significant transition – such as changing jobs, getting married, or getting divorced – discuss it with others who know you well and have a more objective view of your situation.
- Let your family and friends help you.
The U.S. Surgeon General's office reports that aerobic physical activities – such as brisk walking and running – improved the mental health of people who reported symptoms of anxiety and depression and of those who were diagnosed with some forms of depression.
Depression is a real illness. It is treatable, and men can have it. It takes courage to ask for help, but asking for help can make all the difference. |
