Even though you might be nearing retirement age yourself, your own parents might still be living and in need of your care or assistance. You probably envisioned your retirement as a relaxing and rewarding time in your life. Now that cycle might be interrupted as you return to the role of "parent" – but this time not with your children.
Could This Happen to You?
What would you do if your 90-year-old widowed mother is no longer able to live independently? She is adamant about not wanting to go into a nursing home or care facility. She wants to remain on her own, even though she is often dependent on others for assistance.
Should she live with you? How much would it cost you? Can you provide the constant attention she will need? Can you make sure she takes her medications on time? Do you have the physical strength and energy to care for her? It could be a difficult time. Are you prepared to be a parent to your elderly mother?
Of course, it could be a great time. You could get to know your mother in a way that was never possible before. She might become more positive and active because you are closely involved with her. However, she might not like or agree with your decisions, and resist your attempts to do what you think is the best thing.
When It's Time to Care for Your Aging Parents
- When dealing with caring for aging parents, you must come to grips with a number of considerations:
- Can your living facilities accommodate someone who has limited mobility?
- Will there be a need for part- or full-time nursing care? Who will pay for it?
- What will be the emotional, physical, and financial demands?
- Are there reasonable alternatives?
- How can you cope with the stress, fatigue, and possible resentment if you take on the role of caregiver, or guilt if you don't?
You might have to make decisions that could be difficult for everyone. Your doctor, her doctor, social workers, and other healthcare and eldercare professionals can help.
If you try to do everything yourself, you'll probably experience burn-out and your own health could be at risk. Find out where to get help, what insurance and governmental agencies can provide, and what changes you will need to make in your home to accommodate someone who has limited mobility. You might need to install ramps, grab bars, and special furniture. |
