If you leave your family on autopilot, it's possible you'll grow apart. You can blame the busy-ness of the U.S. culture, or you can take action to make sure it doesn't happen.
Families juggle the demands of work, school, after-school activities, social and religious commitments, and the pull of television, video games, or the Internet. Financial woes, lack of sleep, sickness, and other stressors often leave family members weary and cranky, contributing to the strain on family relationships.
Love Is Spelled T-I-M-E
With all the commitments your family has, it can be a challenge for you and your children to be in the same place at the same time. Yet, one of the best ways you can show your family you love them is by spending time together.
If your children are older, you can involve them in discussions of how they want to spend time together. Here are some ideas to help you get started:
- Revive the dinner ritual. Sharing a meal together provides opportunity to talk about the day's events and to find out what your children are thinking.
- Schedule family meetings. Held regularly at a mutually agreed upon time, family meetings provide a forum for discussing triumphs, grievances, projects, questions about discipline, and any topic of concern to a family member. Ground rules help. Everyone gets a chance to talk; one person talks at a time without interruption; everyone listens, and only positive, constructive feedback is allowed. To get resistant children to join in, combine the get-together with incentives such as post-meeting pizza or assign them important roles such as recording secretary or rule enforcer.
- Spend "together time." If possible, establish a regular routine for doing something special with each child — even if it's just going out for ice cream. A few minutes of conversation while you're cleaning up after dinner or right before bedtime can help the family catch up and establish open communication.
- Play together. Some popular "togetherness" activities include playing games, making treats, or going camping.
- Revive or create family traditions. Traditions give children a sense of stability and unity.
Close-knit families aren't born — they're lovingly formed. Increasing the amount of time you spend together increases the opportunity for a strong family unit. |
