Wellness Center

How to Help Children Grow Up

Children like to imitate adults. You'll see them trying on makeup, having a pretend tea party, and dressing in "grown-up" clothes. So the first thing to ask yourself is: What message am I sending to my children? You might be surprised to find out just how grown up they feel when you ask them to get you a beer from the refrigerator or cigarettes from your purse.

Be a Good Role Model

 Realize that your children will try on more than your clothes. They will try on adult behaviors, too, to see if they fit. Lots of activities are "grown up." Have you seen your child role-playing any of the following?

• Driving a car

• Working

• Getting married

• Drinking alcoholic beverages

• Caring for a baby

Help your children understand and accept what is legal and appropriate behavior for adults, and what is legal and appropriate behavior for children.

Be a good role model by pointing out examples of irresponsible behavior and explaining the consequences. Let your children know that freedom also comes with responsibility and consequences for choices.

Growing Freedom

To children, being grown-up means having freedom. Encourage your children to grow. It is natural for adolescents to rebel and try behaviors that separate them from their parents.

The harder parents hold on and pull in the reins, the more children might strain to get away. In most cases, giving children more independence can actually help deter them from using addictive substances because they already feel grown up and mature. For example, the first experimentation with tobacco might take place at the precise time a child is requesting greater freedom. If parents attempt to over-control their children, they might actually make the problem worse.

Age-Appropriate Freedom

Parents must differentiate between age-appropriate freedom and free time that can lead to experiments with drugs or sex. Examples of age-appropriate freedoms include:

• Determine bedtimes with child input

• Joining a sports team

• Cooking a family meal

• Choosing a hobby to pursue

• Going to a sleep-over

• Walking to the park with friends

• Shopping at the mall without an adult

• Babysitting

• Volunteering at a hospital

• Borrowing the family car, after getting a license

• Extended weekend curfew

• Part-time job

Source:

1. Keeping Youth Drug Free. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

This information is provided for educational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice or diagnosis of specific medical conditions. You should seek prompt professional medical attention if you have a particular concern about your health or specific symptoms. Wellsource, Inc. is not liable for any health consequences resulting from your use of this site.