You can't watch television or read a magazine without some advertisement shouting "Buy this!" Sometimes subtly, sometimes in-your-face, the messages range from "Everyone's got one and you should too!" to "With this product, you'll have romance (status, popularity, or whatever might sell)."
Among the products that promise romance, success, or popularity are tobacco and alcoholic beverages.
If it's difficult for you to sort out fact from fiction when dealing with billboards or television shows, imagine how confusing it might be to your eight-year-old. Children's programming dovetails with sales of toys or computer games. Movie stars endorse products or positions. Children see images in the media – and elsewhere – that give them misleading ideas of what it's like to be grown up.
Talk, Talk, Talk
You can help your child develop skills to correctly interpret messages by doing something simple. Talk. Take advantage of daily experiences to educate your child. You'll likely see someone smoking on the street, or a billboard promoting beer. Take that as an opportunity to begin a discussion with your child. Here are a few guidelines suggested by National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information:
- Don't lecture. Talk WITH your child. And that includes listening.
- Ask questions.
- Give feedback and positive support.
- Don't label people as bad or good – only discuss their behavior. Drug abuse is bad, for example, but a drug abuser is not a bad person. Make the distinction.
What to Say
- Is the advertisement trying to sell something? If so, what?
- Is that product healthy for you?
- Do you need that product?
As your child gets older, you'll be able to ask more sophisticated questions, such as:
- How is the sponsor of that product trying to get you to purchase it?
- By making you feel unlovable (You won't be liked very much if you don't buy this product.)
- By making you feel left out (Everybody else is buying this product, and you won't be "cool" if you don't,)
- By making you feel inadequate or unsuccessful (If you don't buy this product, you won't be able to do this or that as well as everyone else.)
- By making you feel less masculine or less feminine (If you don't use this product you're a wimp, or you won't be beautiful.)
- How did you feel about being manipulated by that message?
These questions can lead you into further discussions about circumstances where someone (or several others) might try to pressure your child to do something that he or she doesn't want to do.
Who Can Kids Talk To?
Some children feel more comfortable discussing sensitive topics with someone other than their parents or guardian. Parents, resist the inclination toward hurt feelings, and remember that your children will respect you more in the long run when you encourage them to talk with someone else if that's what they really want to do. Possible sounding boards are:
- Grandparents
- Aunts or uncles
- Coaches
- Pastor
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- Older sibling
- Teachers
- Close family friends
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