You can't watch television or read a magazine without some
advertisement shouting "Buy this!" Sometimes subtly,
sometimes in-your-face, the messages range from "Everyone's got
one and you should too!" to "With this product, you'll have
romance (status, popularity, or whatever might sell)." Among the products that are promoted that will give one romance, success or popularity are tobacco and alcoholic beverage companies.
If it's difficult for you to sort out fact from fiction when
dealing with billboards or television shows, imagine how confusing it
might be to your eight-year-old. Children's programming dovetails
with sales of toys or computerized games. Movie stars endorse
products or positions. Children see images in the media — and
elsewhere — that give them misleading ideas of what it's like to be
grown up.
Talk, Talk, Talk
You can help your child develop skills to correctly
interpret messages by doing something simple. Talk. Take advantage of
daily experiences to educate your child. You'll likely see someone
smoking on the street, or a billboard promoting beer. Take this
opportunity to begin a discussion with your child. Here are a few
guidelines suggested by National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug
Information.
- Don't lecture. Talk WITH your child (that includes
listening).
- Ask questions.
- Give feedback and positive support.
- Don't label people as bad or good — only their behavior.
Drug abuse is bad, for example, but a drug abuser is not a bad
person. Make the distinction.
What to Say
- Is the advertisement trying to sell something? What?
- Is that product healthy for you?
- Do you need that product?
As the child gets older, you're able to ask more
sophisticated questions:
- How is the sponsor of that product trying to get you to
purchase it?
- By making you feel unlovable (you won't be liked very much
if you don't buy this product)
- By making you feel left out (everybody else is buying this
product. You won't be "cool" if you don't)
- By making you feel inadequate or unsuccessful (if you don't
buy this product, you won't be able to do this or that as well as
everyone else)
- By making you feel less masculine or less feminine (if you
don't use this product, you're a wimp; or if you don't use this
product, you won't be beautiful)
- How did you feel about being manipulated by that message?
These questions can lead you into further discussions about
circumstances where someone (or several others) might try to pressure
your child to do something he or she doesn't want to do.
Who Can Kids Talk To?
Some children feel comfortable discussing sensitive topics
with someone other than their parent or guardian. Parents must resist
the inclination toward hurt feelings, and remember that their child
will respect them more in the long run when encouraged to talk with
someone else if that is what the child wants. Possible sounding
boards are:
- Grandparent
- Aunt or uncle
- Coach
- Pastor
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- Older sibling
- Teacher
- Close family friend
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