We communicate all the time, every day, with everybody, so what's the problem? If we don't say what we mean, the result is miscommunication. If the other person doesn't understand what we say, no communication takes place.
Useful Skills
Communication implies two-way understanding. If you talk to somebody who is watching television, reading the paper, or playing a game on the computer, he or she probably won't understand what you're trying to say. That can lead to confusion, frustration, and even anger. "I told you …!" So, make sure the other person is listening before you start speaking. Make eye contact, touch them on the shoulder, or sit in their line of vision before you start.
- Rule #1 — Make sure the other person is listening.
Focused Listening
When you're talking, you're telling somebody else what you already know. When you're listening, you might learn something new. When you want to understand another person, concentrate, ask questions, take notes, and avoid distractions. Be aware of the tone of voice, facial expression, body movement, voice volume, and other clues. Good listening includes attentiveness to both verbal and non-verbal clues.
"You're not listening to me!" Has anyone ever said that to you? Have you ever said it to anyone else? It's probably true, at least sometime of the time. Listening is a skill that needs to be learned and practiced in order to be effective.
- Rule #2 — Be an attentive listener.
Clarity in Speaking
Asking someone to meet you at the corner of First and Elm at 2:30 p.m. next Tuesday is clear and specific. If you were to merely suggest getting together downtown sometime before supper, the message would have very little meaning. Saying specifically what you mean leaves little room for miscommunication.
Don't talk-down to anyone, but make sure you include all the necessary information. Say what you mean, how you feel, what you want, and what you think if that's what you want the other person to hear.
When clear communication is important, it's good to plan what you want to say before you share it with another person. When your write a message you can rewrite and revise until it conveys exactly what you mean. Planning what you want to say and how you want to say it is much the same.
- Rule 3# — Speak clearly and accurately.
Be a Better Communicator
Most of us can talk, and most of us can hear. But it takes time and effort to be a good communicator. Use the ideas and suggestions here and practice, practice, practice. You, your family, your friends, and your co-workers will benefit. |
